I'm just going to put it out there and say, this has not been a very easy month for me. Okay, it's not been a very easy year so far. Like everyone else, the economy has affected me, not in the "oh my God, I have to move into my mother's basement but she lives in an apartment and doesn't even have a basement!!" kind of way, but in that everything just seems so much more difficult all the time. It doesn't help that some people, who shall remain nameless, don't seem to feel obliged by legally binding contracts which has put us in a bit of financial turmoil, not to mention April 15 hit us hard and I'm still trying to catch my breath from writing that...gulp....giant check. On top of it, I've been hit with a romantic trial here and there, some really sad friend problems, and some mild to extremely annoying physical issues.
But what am I gonna do about it???
While I might want to spend many mornings cowered under my covers, I really don't have that option, do I? And besides that, experience has taught me that there is a damn good reason that when it rains it pours. The reason is that if I continue to dwell on every little thing that goes wrong, even more sh!t is gonna go wrong. Without fail.
I reported here that I recently got back from a trip to Las Vegas. So there I was; I hadn't seen real air in several days, hadn't eaten a vegetable in at least as many days, was working on an average of 4 hours of sleep a night, with several nights to go and loads of pressure to make new connections, nurture existing connections and drum up new business, I hadn't read a sentence of a book, talked to my family, worked out, or spent more than 10 minutes alone, I was missing one of the biggest Orman weddings of the century where my entire family was having a blast that they'll be discussing for the rest of my life, and frankly, my entire world felt like it was crumbling around me. Any chance I got, I was sneaking off for a moment to cry before applying more black eye-liner and carrying on with a big smile plastered across my face. Then I got a call from my doctor telling me I needed more tests to establish if I had a serious problem, or merely an annoying one.
It was then that I realized...I'd been tuned into this self-pitying misery channel for far too long. It took me a couple of hours--hours that I had to force myself to give to myself--to work my way out of this mood, off of this channel, and tune into something else. I realized that while I desperately missed my family and vegetables and exercise and books and sleep and AIR, they would all be there waiting for me when I got back to planet earth. And so would my problems. In the meantime, I have a solid family that loves me unconditionally, great friendships, while possibly struggling, a thriving business with a great reputation worth fighting for, and most of all, a healthy intellect, a great sense of humor and my old reliable feistiness. Sitting in my room (or the ballroom bathroom) crying wasn't doing me any good. At all. And dwelling on my problems while I was just so tired wasn't going to solve anything.
So I decided to change the channel, count my blessings, try to recognize my moments of grace, make a call to a sibling and let him/her tell me about his/her issues or tell me a joke rather than venting about the minutia of my daily existence, spend as much time as possible with people I genuinely like, and, well, hit it big at the blackjack table. And guess what! I ended up having a really, honest-to-God good time.
So, my dear friend Masuo, when I say "change your mindset" and you respond "Bahhh! Change your mindset! What the hell is THAT supposed to mean! You can't just change your mindset!!!" Know, in fact, that you can.
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